Blindsided!

I hope I never have another experience like this. Nine months ago, a woman brought her 2 horses into the barn where I kept my mare. Vivacious and friendly, I accepted her as a barn mate along with her 30 year old daughter. She has 2 nice horses and lots of “horse stories” that kept us all entertained.

Out of the blue one morning, she read me the riot act about how I was treating a woman whose horse I was caring for. As I listened to what she had to say without taking offense, her rant eventually wound down and we went on about our day. She apologized a few days later with all the reasons she was under stress and hoped I would forgive her. I thought nothing of it and let it go. I had decided at that point to be careful when talking with her and “stayed in my lane” which was one of her favorite rules in the barn.

Fast forward to this spring. It was late March and on my birthday I was a little later getting to the barn to feed my horse. When I got to the barn, the woman and her daughter were standing in the isle waiting for the vet. Her horse had somehow injured himself overnight in his stall and turnout. In an attempt to “stay in my lane” as she had previously requested, I went about my business without saying anything to her. By the end of the day she had decided that since I hadn’t spoken to her, I was the one who had injured her horse with a rake. Now anyone who knows me finds this accusation absurd. However, from that point on, she made it her goal to have management kick me out of the barn (they didn’t). When that didn’t work, she went to the owners of the horse I had cared for since December of 2018 to have me fired, (they didn’t). She continued to tell everyone around the facility what she was sure I had done. We hadn’t even had a conversation about the incident! She had posted on social media without writing my name specifically and her friends asked for my name so they could “take care” of it as I shouldn’t be allowed to breathe. I haven’t ever been accused of anything like that in my life and I couldn’t believe this was going on day after day. The falsehoods continued and embellished each time they were told . In her mind, I am an evil person with no right to live, let alone be around horses. Oh for Christ sake who does that? By now I knew there was no point in conversing with her about the incident. She had made up her mind. I was having an experience with a bully to the millionth degree. What do you do with a bully? Ignore them if you can.

Thankfully, a friend of mine reminded me that I never have to defend my reputation. The facility workers and other boarders never believed her stories which infuriated her even more. I refused to engage in any conversation with her. Other boarders asked me to let them know when I was coming to the barn to feed, etc. so I would never be at the facility alone.

She eventually took her horses home where they are “safe”. I don’t think she’ll be back.

My take away from all of this is

I have no control over what comes out of anyone’s mouth other than my own. Not every one I meet is my friend, and staying true to myself and knowing who I am is my bedrock. She didn’t break me, God knows she tried.